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Kinds of Sports Fans. The Statistician & The Normal Sports Fan


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The Statistician

The Statistician is here to do two things: argue sports with obscure stats and chew bubblegum. And they hate gum.

They appreciate you trying, but the Statistician knows the numbers, and they have never been wrong.

In addition to never being incorrect about anything, the Statistician approaches the game with cold, Dexter-like analysis. They enjoy the game, but not as much as they enjoy arguing about the game.

Strengths: Alienating others, repelling human contact.

Weaknesses: Parties, general joylessness.

The Normal Sports Fan

Lastly we have the Normal fan—which is what all are, right?

None of us ever get carried away and act rowdy at a game, or have ever secretly rooted for a frontrunner.

We’re just your average guys who have never tried to use an obscure sports stat to our advantage, thought about gambling on a game or went out of our way to sound knowledgable.

Just typical, loyal sports fan, not a strange or eccentric bone in our bodies, right? Right.

Strengths: Lying to ourselves.

Weaknesses: Lying to ourselves.

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